So I was skeptical about being a part of a blog team. That is what this is right? But now I am thoroughly obsessed with it, which once you get to know me, isn't very hard to believe. I have a VERY addictive personality..hence my shoes. My current main obsession is eBay. Haha. This is why I don't do drugs. I would never get off of them.
However, the theme of this post is not addiction. It is about how holy freakin' nervous I am!! I know that I am not alone in this...Of course there is excitement..but the excitement has been there for a while. Like the dwindling flame of a new love...the excitement has faded. See, I applied Early Decision to Davidson in November. December 14th, I knew I had been accepted. Then I was super excited when everyone else finally got in at the end of March. Then May 1st and so on. Of course I was ecstatic when I got my roommate and dorm stuff...But a massive bucket of nervousness has extinguished my excitement flame.
I have absolutely no idea what to expect. Everyone keeps telling me that "I'll do fine". Like what the eff does that even mean? I know, academically, Davidson is going to be hard as shit. But that's the least of my worries..school was like the one thing I was ever good at (this is not a sob story of my life). But it's the social aspect. I don't have strict parents, and, within reason, I can do whatever I want...but college is a whole new level of freedom. It's profound to me. Like (sorry I say like a lot) in my 3 years of high school...I pretty much just went to school. I had my 2 or 3 close friends and whomever I was dating at the time. But I went to school then went home to my room. Alone. I have always been alone. It sounds depressing..which sure it was at times. But that it how I liked it. I like being alone. Now I am thrown into, what it seems to me, 4 years of never being alone. I don't know how to handle that. Thank the Lord I am bringing my car for some solitude.
Now don't go off thinking "This girl...what a loner. She must hate people" It is true..I am not a people person, but I AM very open to new things. Like my roommate, Sara, is really cool from what I can tell. Just SO MANY THINGS can go wrong.
Fingers crossed
So I might feel like I'm going to shit my pants when I think too hard about all this. Yet, I don't have a bad feeling (I am a big believer in "feelings" and intuition), so I really do think everything will work out for the best. So I am not going to glorify my "Class Baby" status and embellish it with whining.
Just read this and, I must say, we have so much in common... Firstly, I, too, am a very addictive personality - I get super-excited about new stuff and throw myself into them entirely. This is why, like you, I have no intention to even try on drugs or smoking; you never know where just one try could get me!
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, I'm also essentially a loner, or better, essentially used to having some time on my own. I never had siblings to sleep in the same room with (my sister is like 12 years older), and I'm worried about how it will be to finally have a roommate... Don't worry, though! If you need some time on your own, you can always go for a walk or, as you said, for a short ride :)
I have an older brother, who tends to be clingy, but he knows to leave me alone. My whole family knows to do so. I'm really hoping I adjust well
ReplyDeleteYou will... :)
ReplyDelete