*Phillip Phillip's recently release album is currently played in the background.
So I have been feeling...out of it (for lack of a better term, or maybe laziness).
Davidson is a very harsh place to be. Don't get me wrong, I love it here and the people who I have become very close to are amazing. And those who I haven't talked to as much are still equally as amazing. Everyone is so helpful, so encouraging. But that doesn't stop some of us from feeling out of place.
Like for example, I have spent Saturday-Tuesday staying up doing homework, studying etc until 3am. And that's terrible for me! (I am going to be just rambling, therefore revealing many many things about myself which I'm sure you might not know..)
Why is this lack of sleep terrible? Because, I was an insomniac for most of my childhood. In short, I slept maximum about 8-10 hours a week from ages 10 till about 15. Around 16 I started taking medication and so it took about 2 years to stabilize my sleep to normality. And all I can say is F***K YOU Davidson for trying to keep your ranks in the Most Rigorous Colleges in the Nation list... Seriously what the fuck? (yes I didn't spell fuck in all caps because I felt that would be too much..)
Not only that, I had to spend Thanksgiving worrying about doing homework, without actually doing it until the Saturday night. Why wait? Because it was Thanksgiving BREAK. Why else?? Whatever, my research paper, review, and quizzes are over. Now I just have one more test tonight (German during my AT session at 7pm) to worry about and then a well deserved weekend-break.
But it won't even be a break. Because unlike many of the students here (or at least many that I have seen) I have to study constantly to retain knowledge. I wish I was like these students (and my brothers too, I don't know why I'm not like that, it SHOULD be genetic!) who could hear a lecture, and who learn right off the bat. As in, if they hear it they retain the knowledge. And reading something later just enforces it. I can't do that. I'll remember examples for things, but I won't remember the thing...I have to constantly study. And finals are coming...therefore I must study now. Blah!
But alas, I have work study in about 10 minutes, so I should probably make my bed (why would I make it before going to a review? I knew I'd need comfort afterwards!) and head out to Watson to go work for Mrs. Duncan. But mostly likely she won't have anything for me to do, so I'll go down to the lab and help out with research. Its still work, and I don't mind it. At least I'm getting good at hunting down research articles!
There is plenty more I would like to talk about, and perhaps I will do so more often. Or maybe even tonight. I have been making a habit of going down to the library to study (which really helps! I am giving it credit for the confidence which I am currently in possession of for my Psychology review) but I might break that tonight and write. Or skype my parents, I haven't in almost two weeks. And I haven't seen them face to face since August 22 not even at the crack of dawn, in my Maywood/Los Angeles home.
I need December 18th to come, I'll be going home that day <3.
Anyways bye bye for now world. Time to work!
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Thanksgiving & Academic Complaining (Sorry!)
This is (for obvious reasons) the first time I'm celebrating Thanksgiving but, no kidding, I have really felt the urge these days to reflect on and remind myself of all the things that I'm thankful for. I'm happy to be spending the break with the family of a person very special to me, in their home in South Carolina. I'm lucky to have that person in my life; I'm also thankful for all the amazing people I got to meet in the latest months, as well as for all the special people at home that I've kept in touch with (including my friend from home, Elina, whose birthday is in a few hours)! I'm also extremely relieved to have had a seemingly infinite amount of time to sleep during the break. Believe me - I needed that sleep.
I'm thankful for a "shitload" - as Luna very accurately described it - of other things as well. Like, for example, that this semester is coming to an end, with just over three weeks left until Winter Break, when I'm going to travel back to Greece. No, I'm not implying that I haven't enjoyed myself in the past months - my first semester at Davidson, in college, has probably been one of my best 4-month periods of my life; it's just that I've gotten way too stressed as far as my classes are concerned. I am doing well, but at the same time I feel that choosing such a "hard" curriculum for my first semester was sort of a mistake. Organic Chemistry (in which I belonged to the minority of non-premed students) I was happy to take - even though it was challenging, the material was way too interesting for me to care. But Calculus III, with the endless graded homework assignments that took up so much time, and the fact that it was an 8.30 class I accidentally slept through a couple of times and often struggled not to fall back to sleep in, was painful. I am ashamed of myself for saying that, 'cause Mathematics was always one of the most intriguing subjects for me, but I'm SOOOO looking forward to next semester, in which I won't have to take any more math classes.
I'm sorry to be bitching about my work in a Thanksiving post. But the fact that it's Thanksgiving break and I have free time is partially the reason why I am publishing this now. So, I'll go on, to describe something I'm really concerned about, and which has actually gotten me really angry for a while. If you take out our Writing Class, which is a freshman class, all of my other classes are mostly filled with upperclassmen, who are a "weee bit" more acclimatized to the academic curriculum of Davidson than we, freshmen, are (that's OK, so far, after all, it was me who chose to be in those classes). My Chemistry 201 class also happens to involve a "shitload" of premed students, most of whom seem to me a little too uptight and competitive. Well, as I try to keep an open mind, I usually don't want to make generalizations about such things and, to be fair, there is a particular sophomore pre-med girl in my class (shoutout to Shannon, please!) who seems to know her stuff better than anyone else, and yet is always approachable and kind should someone ask for her help. But the feeling I've gotten from almost everyone else is the "Leave-me-alone-I-don't-even-care-what-your-name-is-I'm-pretty-sure-I'm-doing-much-better-on-the-reviews-than-you-because-I-work-on-every-single-excercise-on-the-book-and-you-don't" look.
Like, seriously? I don't mind my academic environment being competitive, in the sense of having competent classmates who are striving for excellence (If I did mind that, I wouldn't have decided to come to Davidson in the first place). This encourages me to be better as well. But there's a good kind of competition (what I just mentioned) as well as a bad kind of competition. There was one day I met with my assigned study group to do a "group practice review" that would count some points towards one of our Chemistry reviews. While we were solving a problem about reaction mechanisms, I asked the group a question about where exactly a particular arrow's start and end points should be correctly placed (I won't explain the question here, as it gets unnecessarily technical), so we all searched the book for a similar example. After we found out that the position of the arrow's startpoint did have an effect in general, but not to an extent that was crucial for the answer to the review's particular problem, I got the comment, "It would help if you weren't so picky about such things!"
Well, I'm sorry, then! I'm sorry for having learned that one has to be precise in what they say, especially when it's related to science. I'm sorry for not considering it sufficient to give a vague answer, hoping that "the professor" will know "what I'm trying to say" and give me the points! I'm sorry for caring about Chemistry more than I care about a freaking grade on a review or an MCAT report card!
I'm sorry if I'm being an "angry bitch", complaining about my problems with my classmates here, on a friendly Meow! blog. But I'm not really angry at the particular girl who made that comment, or at every other student I see being uptight and unwilling to talk to any of their "competitor" classmates. If they want to be bitter, let them be and, although I personally gain energy by seeing people smiling and being positive, I can always turn around and find such people just around the corner. The problem is that, it's a fact, medical school is competitive, and for one to get in it, one must excel academically. Sadly, for some people, GPA is all that matters, or all that should matter, if you want to stand any chance at getting in one of those schools.
Sigh... I just wish more people went to college to learn, just for the sake of learning itself. Work for their future as well as enjoy the present, because after all, one never knows what the future holds. To return to the Thanksgiving spirit, I'm so grateful to be studying at a liberal arts college and to have so much to choose from in terms of academic (and non-academic) disciplines. Next semester, I'm going to give Antropology a try; I'm also going to enroll in a Music Composition class, which so far has only 5 students, and about which I'm very excited! What more could I ask for?
I'm thankful for a "shitload" - as Luna very accurately described it - of other things as well. Like, for example, that this semester is coming to an end, with just over three weeks left until Winter Break, when I'm going to travel back to Greece. No, I'm not implying that I haven't enjoyed myself in the past months - my first semester at Davidson, in college, has probably been one of my best 4-month periods of my life; it's just that I've gotten way too stressed as far as my classes are concerned. I am doing well, but at the same time I feel that choosing such a "hard" curriculum for my first semester was sort of a mistake. Organic Chemistry (in which I belonged to the minority of non-premed students) I was happy to take - even though it was challenging, the material was way too interesting for me to care. But Calculus III, with the endless graded homework assignments that took up so much time, and the fact that it was an 8.30 class I accidentally slept through a couple of times and often struggled not to fall back to sleep in, was painful. I am ashamed of myself for saying that, 'cause Mathematics was always one of the most intriguing subjects for me, but I'm SOOOO looking forward to next semester, in which I won't have to take any more math classes.
I'm sorry to be bitching about my work in a Thanksiving post. But the fact that it's Thanksgiving break and I have free time is partially the reason why I am publishing this now. So, I'll go on, to describe something I'm really concerned about, and which has actually gotten me really angry for a while. If you take out our Writing Class, which is a freshman class, all of my other classes are mostly filled with upperclassmen, who are a "weee bit" more acclimatized to the academic curriculum of Davidson than we, freshmen, are (that's OK, so far, after all, it was me who chose to be in those classes). My Chemistry 201 class also happens to involve a "shitload" of premed students, most of whom seem to me a little too uptight and competitive. Well, as I try to keep an open mind, I usually don't want to make generalizations about such things and, to be fair, there is a particular sophomore pre-med girl in my class (shoutout to Shannon, please!) who seems to know her stuff better than anyone else, and yet is always approachable and kind should someone ask for her help. But the feeling I've gotten from almost everyone else is the "Leave-me-alone-I-don't-even-care-what-your-name-is-I'm-pretty-sure-I'm-doing-much-better-on-the-reviews-than-you-because-I-work-on-every-single-excercise-on-the-book-and-you-don't" look.
Like, seriously? I don't mind my academic environment being competitive, in the sense of having competent classmates who are striving for excellence (If I did mind that, I wouldn't have decided to come to Davidson in the first place). This encourages me to be better as well. But there's a good kind of competition (what I just mentioned) as well as a bad kind of competition. There was one day I met with my assigned study group to do a "group practice review" that would count some points towards one of our Chemistry reviews. While we were solving a problem about reaction mechanisms, I asked the group a question about where exactly a particular arrow's start and end points should be correctly placed (I won't explain the question here, as it gets unnecessarily technical), so we all searched the book for a similar example. After we found out that the position of the arrow's startpoint did have an effect in general, but not to an extent that was crucial for the answer to the review's particular problem, I got the comment, "It would help if you weren't so picky about such things!"
Well, I'm sorry, then! I'm sorry for having learned that one has to be precise in what they say, especially when it's related to science. I'm sorry for not considering it sufficient to give a vague answer, hoping that "the professor" will know "what I'm trying to say" and give me the points! I'm sorry for caring about Chemistry more than I care about a freaking grade on a review or an MCAT report card!
I'm sorry if I'm being an "angry bitch", complaining about my problems with my classmates here, on a friendly Meow! blog. But I'm not really angry at the particular girl who made that comment, or at every other student I see being uptight and unwilling to talk to any of their "competitor" classmates. If they want to be bitter, let them be and, although I personally gain energy by seeing people smiling and being positive, I can always turn around and find such people just around the corner. The problem is that, it's a fact, medical school is competitive, and for one to get in it, one must excel academically. Sadly, for some people, GPA is all that matters, or all that should matter, if you want to stand any chance at getting in one of those schools.
Sigh... I just wish more people went to college to learn, just for the sake of learning itself. Work for their future as well as enjoy the present, because after all, one never knows what the future holds. To return to the Thanksgiving spirit, I'm so grateful to be studying at a liberal arts college and to have so much to choose from in terms of academic (and non-academic) disciplines. Next semester, I'm going to give Antropology a try; I'm also going to enroll in a Music Composition class, which so far has only 5 students, and about which I'm very excited! What more could I ask for?
Friday, November 23, 2012
Post Thanksgiving..
What am I thankful for?
a SHITLOAD of things.... now here comes the List:
I am thankful for:
1) My loving family - without them I probably wouldn't be where I am now. They have supported me through all of my decisions and have loved me unconditionally, despite all of my mistakes.
2) My health - I have struggled with it so much, I am grateful to simply be healthy.
3) My loving boyfriend - who says long distance relationships can't work? Its been almost 4 months since I've seen him, and yes it has not been easy and perfect but I can honestly say that I am as much in love with him now then I was when I left.
4) All of my friends, the ones I have back home and the ones I have made here - I know that all the people back home whom I love still love me back, and I am grateful to still have them through my troubling times here. I can count on them despite the distance.
The friends who I have made here are all so amazing, I don't know how sane I would be without them right now. They have made me smile, laugh, cry, and love. They match my craziness in a way which I thought was only possible back home. And I am grateful to have found people like all of them here.
5) College - It is a miracle for me to be in college. If it wasn't for the Davidson Trust, I probably wouldn't be going to college. Maybe a community college for a semester or two. But I am grateful to have found Davidson, and grateful that they accepted me and actually gave me financial aid!
6) Leigh Chandler and Rosi Goetz - They both invited me to go over to their house and spend Thanksgiving with them because I had no where else to go. This makes me feel so loved and happy, I can't even put words to it...
7) Jean Paul Garcia - my home away from home. I don't know what I would do without my friend who I have known since 2nd grade. Crazy shit!
8) Non-Commons Food - 'nuff said.
There are of COURSE plenty of other things I am thankful for, but who wants this list to be so huge?!
Oh well, here's my small list...
What I am NOT grateful for? The fact that I have SHIT LOADS of homework....
oh well the life of a Davidson College student <3
a SHITLOAD of things.... now here comes the List:
I am thankful for:
1) My loving family - without them I probably wouldn't be where I am now. They have supported me through all of my decisions and have loved me unconditionally, despite all of my mistakes.
2) My health - I have struggled with it so much, I am grateful to simply be healthy.
3) My loving boyfriend - who says long distance relationships can't work? Its been almost 4 months since I've seen him, and yes it has not been easy and perfect but I can honestly say that I am as much in love with him now then I was when I left.
4) All of my friends, the ones I have back home and the ones I have made here - I know that all the people back home whom I love still love me back, and I am grateful to still have them through my troubling times here. I can count on them despite the distance.
The friends who I have made here are all so amazing, I don't know how sane I would be without them right now. They have made me smile, laugh, cry, and love. They match my craziness in a way which I thought was only possible back home. And I am grateful to have found people like all of them here.
5) College - It is a miracle for me to be in college. If it wasn't for the Davidson Trust, I probably wouldn't be going to college. Maybe a community college for a semester or two. But I am grateful to have found Davidson, and grateful that they accepted me and actually gave me financial aid!
6) Leigh Chandler and Rosi Goetz - They both invited me to go over to their house and spend Thanksgiving with them because I had no where else to go. This makes me feel so loved and happy, I can't even put words to it...
7) Jean Paul Garcia - my home away from home. I don't know what I would do without my friend who I have known since 2nd grade. Crazy shit!
8) Non-Commons Food - 'nuff said.
There are of COURSE plenty of other things I am thankful for, but who wants this list to be so huge?!
Oh well, here's my small list...
What I am NOT grateful for? The fact that I have SHIT LOADS of homework....
oh well the life of a Davidson College student <3
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